Disclaimer: This note is not about teaching but in a way it is. Enjoy
Confessions of a
Failed Doggy Momma
Okay, dog
lovers, let me just say up front that I have nothing against dogs. I just have
never wanted one and, now that I have one, find that I am not cut out to care
for one. However, more than that, I do NOT like to fail so I’m doing my best. I
do love this little fur ball but he is more than I can handle! This all goes
back to my childhood, I’m sure.
I never had a
dog of my own. My mother had had some dogs growing up but they were hit by cars
and she was fairly traumatized herself. We had dogs living on either side of
us. Spartan was a mutt of some sort and Pug was, well, a pug. Both dogs ran
free and chased me and my friends through my yard many times. More than once they chased us up one of the
two climbable trees in the yard. They were constantly barking and snapping. My
poor grandmother, who was always sweet and mild- mannered, was bitten by each
dog at least once. Her only crime was getting out of her car and showing her
fear of the dogs. Needless to say, my experience growing up was not the best
when it came to dogs. My only other close encounter with a dog came when I was
pregnant with my second child. I sat down at the breakfast table at my in-laws’
house in my robe and slippers and crossed my legs. I hadn’t noticed the dog
under the table and apparently my foot touched her and startled her so she
turned and bit me. Despite the fact that I had to go get a tetanus shot,
everyone present wanted to know what I had done to cause the dog to bite me.
So, I never had become a big fan of dogs.
My daughter, on
the other hand, has wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I think she has
asked for one every birthday since she was five. Her dad always promised he
would get her one when he could be home more and we could fence in the yard. I
continued to find reasons why we didn’t need one. First and foremost, was that
I felt that after the children were potty trained, I had no intention of
picking up the poop of anything I didn’t give birth to. I also knew who would
be saddled with the majority of the doggy care and that just did not appeal to
me.
It happens that
my daughter’s birthday falls on Christmas day due to my poor calculating
skills. I have always felt some small measure of guilt over this (although I
don’t think she has ever been short-changed in the gift department). But this
year was her 21st birthday and I really did want to give her the
gift she wanted most. So… I Caved!
From the start
my husband and my daughter insisted that we needed a manly dog, thus ruling out
anything with poo or doodle in its name. I, on the other hand, imagined a
quiet, non-shedding, low maintenance lap dog. FYI, Dooley is not that! He is a
most adorable bundle of energetic fur and has the most beautiful blue eyes.
What’s not to love? And he does love to lick my face. Actually, I’ve kind of
learned to enjoy the doggy kisses.
His barking, chewing, mania and messing were
much more tolerable when there were other people living here with me. But now
both kids are back at college and my husband is working out of town long term.
So it’s just me and Dooley. It has been 5 weeks since I could sit and read or
sit and knit or just sit. If he doesn’t want to play, he is asleep at my feet
but if I move at all, he wakes up and wants to play.
He barks at the
vacuum, the broom, a bag of garbage by the door, my bag for school or anything
else that he just noticed. He barks at the rocker that has been in the same
place since he came to live with us. It seems that he only just now realized
that it moves, especially if he touches it. He can bark at it for a solid hour.
He barks at anyone new he sees, even he sees them every day. He just noticed
the birds, chipmunks and insects outside and now he stands at the window and
barks at them. He barks!
He recently
decided that he prefers to use the bathroom inside rather than outside. I had
thought that was settled by the time he had been here a few weeks. He also decided
that sleeping through the night does not appeal to him.
AND HE CHEWS
things. He chews all tissues and paper towels left in his range, he chews his
beds (3 so far), the baseboards, leashes (he has chewed through 5 of those
while he is wearing them), socks, garbage, and, mostly recently, my brand new
Lace Toms Shoe! That sent me over the edge.
If I’m not
hyper-vigilant, he runs away. And I’m not talking about leaving the door open.
Remember when I said he chewed through leashes. Yeah, while I’m standing right
there holding the other end. I’m sure the neighbors get a kick out of watching
me chase him through their yards. Me…I don’t enjoy it much.
I try to be a
good doggie momma but I tend to try to buy his good behavior with treats.
Apparently that is not a good dog training plan. But that’s not too far removed from my
parenting style, I’ve been told. I clean
the poop and play Dooley ball in the yard for at least 30 minutes any day that
it isn’t raining, make sure he has food and water, bathe him, give him his
heart worm medication and flea treatments and I cuddle him and talk nice most
of the time.
Oh, let me
explain Dooley ball to you. It is a game involving 2 old soccer balls and a Frisbee.
It is part dodge ball, part keep away, and part chase. I throw the Frisbee or
kick the ball and he chases them or grabs them in his mouth and will not give
them back until I wrestle them away from him. If he has the Frisbee in his
mouth, he herds the balls together so I can’t get any of them but if I dare go
inside, he drops them all and sits just inside the door whimpering until I come
back.
I’m just
stressed. I never imagined that I would be the 24/7 dog person and hopefully
soon I will have him fully trained for his real mommy! Oops there I go spoiling her again! I love
him, I really do! This week, we are going to see what happens when he is
neutered. Rumor has it that this may calm him down. I’m not holding my breath.
After that, it’s training or maybe even doggy boot camp. That costs $800, but
as I said, I Do Not like to fail! I WILL conquer this little bugger! But my
next dog will definitely be a sissy lap-dog!
